Bad timing

A lazy, quiet Saturday afternoon and an opportunity to check out the weekend scene in my 'home' club

It was more crowded than I expected but it still had a lazy atmosphere - except for the guys at the bar. While I was waiting for my drink, a gray-haired old blowhard was trying to impress his younger friend by introducing him to one of the dancers. I couldn't hear every word but it sounded like she was selling something that the unimpressed guy was buying. A tall black woman in a bikini with a sheepish grin came over, rather reluctantly I thought, to see what the old guy had in mind. I took my drink and left before I could get roped into the conversation because it didn't sound like the deal was going to go down, whatever it was.

On my way past the tiny stage in front of the bar a dancer in a skin-tight white body suit was entertaining a few men with a slow gyrating slink up and down the brass pole. She wasn't exactly fat, but she had enough flesh to appear really ripe for the picking. Maybe if I see her on stage, I'll ask her for a dance since I was starting to twitch a little just watching her for a distance.

On stage was a woman in a tiny schoolgirl skirt which would have normally turned me on except she had a really big ass. I'm not one to make fun of body types, but she looked like the dancing hippopotami in the movie, Fantasia. She had a much smaller top with stringy shoulder-length hair and a big space between her front teeth. What the hell, I'll give her a try. She came over when I sat at the stage and went through the motions. She pulled down her bra and shoved her tits in my face; she sat and leaned back, stroking her pussy. But when she turned around and shook her ass in my face, I was hit with a pretty foul smell. A real turnoff.

I sat back at my table and nursed my drink while I waited for her set to end. In the meantime, I noticed a very nice looking dancer across the room waiting for the ladies room. She was wearing a black bikini with stripper short-shorts that she had pulled halfway down with her thumbs, kind of cowboy-style. She was thin with just the right amount of bulge around her womb. I hoped that she was scheduled next on stage. Either she or the woman in white. After she left the ladies room, the cowgirl went to sit back down with her apparent regular in the back of the club. Oh well.

I hoped Big Ass wasn't insulted that I didn't sidle up to the stage again, but I was too put off by her smell. I tried to avoid her by going back to the stage when she finished so she wouldn't invite herself to sit with me. The next dancer was a sassy, wholesome looking woman who looked like the girl next door. In fact, she looked too much like a girl. She had long straight brown hair and rectangular glasses. When she came over to me she started with some gymnastic moves - sticking her foot behind her head - which added to the little girl image. Her pussy bulged in her bikini bottom but I felt like I was looking at jail bait.

As I went back to my table the girl in white walked past me and into the private dance area with some guy. The cowgirl was still hanging with her friend in the back. The old guy was noisily trying to scam someone else. I figured it would be at least two more 3-song sets before I found someone I'd want to ask for a dance. I decided to cut my losses and continue my quest on another day. Too bad I had to waste my time. And yours.